An array of blunderful phases of life

The story of an Indian millennial begins with a standard school where you try to learn but then midway curtain yourself in the magical world of Harry Potter and many more fantasy fictions that come in your way. You are growing up trying to take inspirations from your elder siblings and all those successful cousins. But deep inside, all your little heart wants is to paint, dance, sing, write and a lot more which at many points is different than those standard obvious career choices. It’s not that you did not want to try; you put your maximum efforts. You study hard to score well to safeguard your future with those top college enrollments. But your mind hovers into this beautiful fantasy land. Let’s call it Magony. It’s safe; no one can ever hurt you there. You can do whatever you want to, you can eat whatever you want to and become whatever you like to because no one ever judges you there. It’s perfect. However, reality is ugly. You fail once and the whole universe stands right there before your face to judge you and laugh at you without knowing or showing any kind of condolences. You come to a point where Magony starts to literally fall apart. You have nowhere to go anymore. You don’t know what is real anymore. You are just there but not there. It’s an icky feeling. You just don’t like anything about yourself anymore. Even if you try to you cannot. You just want to give up and jump into the fire, or trap yourself in a casket forever. What do you do then? Listen to the very first way out and you take that suggestion and move forth.

Another phase of life begins, you move out to college, to a whole new city with new people. As intimidating as it sounds, it’s the most beautiful thing. You feel free in a non-Magony kind of a way. You are excited and you discover a new fire within you to work, to make things better. So, the next thing you find yourself doing is working hard on it. You are trying to give your best. But, at the same time, you find a new family at a new place. They are more like you as compared to one back at home. They listen to your ridiculous fears and weirdly understand them completely. You feel safe and motivated and work on your life to improve and make it better for a family back at home. You hope that they will be proud of you in the end because, this is not the end. Although, you fall back only to realize this was all a dream. A punch of reality hits you hard when you find yourself back where you started it all. But now, you are a more established human being in terms of facing life. You still hope for something way better in your life to come by because this cannot be the end. So somehow with a half heart but maximum positivism you finish your phase two facing a few downfalls. Now by the finish line, you don’t want to give up or do any of those torturous things to you. But, you find a way out into something you always dreamed of. After all, Magony can be saved brick by brick.

With full confidence and zest you enroll yourself for another round of life. Now, this one is a shorter phase, but the most fun and memorable one. Here, you are your best self, you somehow discover your worth in this phase. You meet more people of similar interests and you know it that you are doing the right thing. This is what you always wanted to do and this is going to make a difference in your life. For the first time in your life you know you made the right choice. Downfalls here and there have somehow become your identity and it was most welcomed in this phase also. However, you did amazingly well here. You cannot wait to begin with another phase of life now.

So there it starts in the blink of your eye, your brand new phase of life. You cannot be more happy and thrilled. You finally are getting what you always deserved. This phase of life though, is a twisty one. It’s a hop into the hard core reality. No one can back you up here. You are your mother and father here and you have to take care of yourself. You do not have the privileges of committing mistakes and still leaving them at ease. So you are ready; ready to face new challenges. Work with the highest potential and zeal you have in your tiny body. There are definitely hardships involved but you are not going to give up. But wait a second! Were you too impatient to enter this phase and you are regretting over it now? This wasn’t a right choice? No!

You deserve bigger, and so you leave in the midway and now you are in search for a bigger break in your life that you always deserved. At the same time you are watching your other family grow and triumphing on their successes. All you are thinking is, “will I ever get that? Isn’t it too late? Was this all a mistake?”. But you are still trying hard. Trying to find a place where you actually happily fit. But then your family back at home introduces you with a new interference, “The Marriage”. Somehow you know that they have given up. All they want is to let go of you so that they can lead a satisfied life with all the responsibilities over. For an Indian family, the process of marriage begins with creating a CV like biodata where you are shamelessly displayed in front of prospective clients (the bridegrooms). The CV showcases one of your most decent picture (photo shopped a million times to lighten your color and slimming your body shape) and a list of irrespective facts about you, i.e., your height, your weight, your color, your qualification, and whatever fits in an A4 size sheet. Little do the parents know how depressing it can get for you. More than their child now, you are an object to showcase to be given away. According to the parents, this is a chronic process of releasing their responsibly. And to a normal 25 year old, this is torture and not just in a sarcastic way. You cry your heart out every single night because of whatever career stability you are trying to gain in your life. Then one fine day, hops in a brand new addition to your trauma, your mother’s one innocent sentence, “beta, kahi job milega kya?” (Honey! Will you get a job ever?), that stabs your heart every single moment you breathe until it numbs your entire bodily function. Is getting married the solution?. During this whole uncomfortable upheaval, all you wish for is a moment to breathe. But all you can think of are earlier mentioned various ways to jump into the fire, or trap yourself in a casket forever.

“It can happen any second, have faith”, shouts your instincts. But you know that deep inside your soul, your mind and your body is shutting down.


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